Thursday, September 18, 2008

99 degrees and getting hotter

In the 90s Guelph became the focus of the one eyed international media's peeping when a young woman, Gwen Jacobs, walked topfree down the street. The coverage was hysterical with people claiming if this was allowed then the streets would be teeming with naked women within months. After years of legal wrangling she was acquitted of all charges.
Weird. Anyway, here's the song I wrote about it.

99 degrees and getting hotter

there's a quiet and a peaceful city
called Guelph Ontario
where the climate and the folks are mostly temperate
in the sunshine, in the rain, and in the snow

but the summer sun was pounding on the pavement
it was the hottest day in many years they said
and while the tar was getting soft between the sidewalks
other things were getting soft in people's heads

when it's 99 degrees and getting hotter
some people blow their cool and go insane
so I pour myself a lemon ice and water
turn on the fan put up my feet and hope for rain

but some people they got caught out in the open
and one just started taking off her clothes
and another one got hot under the collar
and another put some glasses on his nose

then the one who's getting hot under her collar
starts chilling out by blowing steam out of her mouth
she tells the one without her top to keep her shirt on
or what's facing north would soon be heading south

when the policeman came to look into the matter
she was upfront but still he charged her anyway
and the local paper sent a team down to chat her
but they were hoping they could scoop an expose

when it's 99 degrees and getting hotter
some people blow their cool and go insane
between the policemen and the prudes and the reporters
the real heat was on Godiva with no mane

with pointed arguments the lawyers all debated
whether a breast was a true organ or mere gland
and so uplifting was the strength of our defendant
that with support you know she finally took the stand

now everybody's waiting for the judgement
would he dress her down, well maybe she'd appeal
but as the sun's setting now on our story
well we all got burned that's the way I feel

cause when it's 99 degrees and getting hotter
some people blow their cool and go insane
they'd rather spend a hundred thousand bucks on lawyers
just to be sure that it don't happen here again

o it's a quiet and a peaceful city
when the Mercury is running low
but when it's 99 degrees and getting hotter
I put my wallet in my hands and pray for snow

(it's summertime - don't blush, pretty baby, don't you fry)

This photo may not be as suggestive as this one but I still think it's pretty cool.
Eden Mills, December 2003

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